Until life crashed down on her i was in 7th grade first semester then, and I could never forget that day. That momment where coming home became its own kind of stress. An apparently stress is what did it my superwoman was brought down by the subtle incline of lifes pressure, my mother had a stroke in her early 30's I had always been helping her with some form of medical issue cause she's been sick since I was little but this was different.
That night i stayed at the house by myself felling extra conscience about my uncomfortable fear of hospital's waiting for the call saying we're on the way, from my grandma but it didn't come. Instead I got the your gonna stay at the house with us call which was fine but what about my superwoman. A day passed at a breakneck speed an I had no choice but to step in that building the one where they "save live's" well damn she alive but where the fuck is my mama is all I could say!
My superwoman had fallin an couldnt get up not by herself anyway, so I made a decsion that day to do what ever I felt necessary to make sure she doesn't end up like that again. Well I did that other than some run in's with a low imune system an bad medical care she's been semi good but I still feel like im failing I LIVE WITH FEAR I DAMN NEAR SAY WE'RE ROOMATE'S and I pay my own bills and my mother's we stay together just out of the anxiety that she may not be there one day. I failed to do what i said i would I have to be sucessfull if I want her to have what she needs.
But money comes slow problems come in bunches an help comes sporactically so what does a man do? What does young black man do when he knows the truth in life is the easy way isn't always the right way but the right way doesn't garentee shit every year around this time I think about this an every year i feel like I can't do it any more the sidekick has to become a hero an he's no where near ready UGH WISH ME LUCK.
OFF TO ANOTHER DAY OF WORK, TO DEAL WITH ANOTHER SET OF PROBLEM, BUT ITS ALL WORTH IT IN A WAY CAUSE MY SUPERWOMAN'S HOME......
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I hear you. I must first commend you on being a smart strong black man, and not taking the easy way. There are so many young men who sling because they see that its easy money. *applause* With that being said, there comes a time in life when you have to realize that you cant do everything. Yes, that is your mother and you want to do everything and anything you can to protect her, but, you cant let the stess that your trying to protect her from eat you ither. and thats what your doing love. Take a step back and take a deep breath. It'll all work out love.. *and if you ask me, your a superman for the things that you do!*
ReplyDelete**big kiss**
Cort