Who wants to her about a chick living in a shoe and it wasn't even a fly one I think it was just a boot, right. These are the story's we tell kids growing up, and we wonder why so many confused teenagers are running around.
But I do feel it now as kids we need that fantasy world to dive into, although a chick with kids living in a shoe is kind of morbid . Now we are all adults with bills, an relationships that don't start with the note saying do you like me yes or no any more, and jobs with managers that could use a good pistol whipping in my opinion, please be scared as a black man I can still snap at any moment BOO! Apparently adults are suppose to be responsible and be smarter than a 5th grader. Which is obvious were not due to Jeff Foxworthy pitting 30yr olds against kids who just got weened of elmer's glue an animal crackers and losing every week.
We as this new generation of dumb genius's have our own set of problem that weren't around just 20 some years ago. So I guess this is where the story begins, with me sitting hear waiting for a plane to take off to start this new life that I've been sick I'm so excited for, literally I had morning sickness like I was expecting or something.
8hrs til the rest of my life starts wait I may have to start at the beginning so you can be on the same page as me, I already know your probably thinking what the fuck is he talking about.
See well it all started with a girl wait no that sounds lame, its started because my pimping was so outrageous she had to encroach into my personal space an give me her information in hope that I would call her. Yeah I like that one.
"I'm Garret shawty, whats yo name"
"Tonya, shawty or is it shorty yal southern niggas accent be funny"
See normally my Ga boy attitude would've came in an told her to suck a tampon, BUT she was cute so I just gave her the witty charm and the obvious question. "Where you from then SHAWTY?" all while trying not to let her catch me looking at her booty in the reflection of a window all I can say is thank god for spandex a true miracle material.
So after a slight back an forth and exchanging of digits, facebooks, and twitters. Ok I'm just playing no social networking info was traded, but during the conversation I picked up on something.
1. Tonya just got out of a relationship of 2yrs with a guy named AK
2. AK is not his initials come to find out its the name of his favorite gun I should have ran from that notification alone
3.Tonya is the name of every girl I've talked to that always meant trouble
Fast forward 2 weeks a couple dates and a one good night of sweat and wet sheets (YAY ME!!) I got to meet our friend AK. Who she neglected to say looked like a "roided" out Trick Daddy. Fast forward 35 min from me an AK's meeting of the minds we met each others fist so now 15 min before work I have a black eye something that looks like a bite mark on my shoulder and a new found respect for police. Mainly due for them letting me leave the back of the police car and keeping AK's hostile charcoal ass in one.
"Do I want to press charges, hell yea!".
Fast forward another 30 min and a pretty embarrassing conversation with my man hating manager from hell, I find myself holding my Gatorade to my eye sweating bullets of sweat an grease wondering, how the hell did I end up like this? An after several cigarettes an rubbing the bruised eye for the thousandth time it hit me.........
WOMEN ARE KILLING ME!!
Well not literally obviously but some how my bad taste in women has been the bane of my existence, at 22 I am officially tired of the bullshit. Women have gotten off easy on this whole relationship, courting or whatever you want to call it for way to long. We pay for the date, we have to make small talk, we have to have this and that but at the same time we are the reason they are so "difficult", constantly lying and cheating and never cleaning up geesh we're so terrible. And then it hits me, I should really write all of this down just to prove how serious I am when I say I can't get a break. So I decided I'm gonna make a journal and write about all this shit, just to keep track of all this nuttiness I go through. The first entry should definitely be titled "Stick & Move" ugh this shit hurts............
this is the draft from the first couple pages from my book "160 character life love and everything in between" some of you guys dug it enuf to email me bout it so here's the update email me at deangeloemory@gmail.com i do go thru em all an respond if its not about anything stupid lol
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