life in 160 characters (my book exert)

"There once was a lady who lived in a shoe...." is the dumbest intro to a children story ever.
Who wants to her about a chick living in a shoe and it wasn't even a fly one I think it was just a boot, right. These are the storys we tell kids growing up, and we wonder why so many confused teenagers are running around.
But I do feel it now as kids we need that fantasy world to dive into, although a chick with kids living in a shoe is kind of morbid lol. Now we are all adults with bills, an relationships that don't start with the note saying do you like me yes or no any more, and jobs with managers that could use a good pistol whiping in my opinion (please be scared lol as a black man I can still snap at any moment BOO!!). Adults are suppose to be responcilble and be smarter than a 5th grader. Which is obvious were not due to Jeff Foxworthy pitting 30yr olds against kids who just got weened of elmer's glue an animal crackers and losing every week.
We as this new generation of dumb genius's have our own set of problem that weren't around just 20 some years ago. So I guess this is where the story begins, with me sitting hear waiting for a plane to take off to start this new life that I've been sick I'm so excited for (literally I had morning sickness like I was expecting or something). 8hrs til the rest of my life starts wait I may have to start at the begining so you can be on the same page as me, i already know your probably thinking wtf is he talking about.

See well it all started with a girl wait no that sounds lame, its started because my pimping was so outraguous she had to encrouch into my personal space an give me her information in hope that I would call her. "I'm Garret shawty, whats yo name"
"Tonya, shawty or is shorty yal southern niggas accent be funny"
See normally my Ga boy attitude would've came in an told her to suck a tampoon, BUT she was cute so I just gave her the witty charm and the obvious question. "Where you from SHAWTY" all while trying not to let her catch me looking at her booty in the reflection of a window all I can say is thank god for spandex a true miracle material.
So after a slight back an forth and exchanging of digits, facebooks, and twitters. Ok I'm just playing no social networking info was traded, but during the conversation I picked up on something.
1. Tonya just got out of a relationship of 2yrs with a guy named AK
2. AK is not his intials come to find out its the name of his favorite gun (i should've ran from that notification alone)
3.Tonya is the name of every girl I've fucked with that always meant trouble

Fast forward 2 weeks a couple dates and a one good night of sweat and wet sheets (YAY ME!!) I got to meet our friend AK. Who she neglected to say looked like a roided out Trick Daddy. Fast forward 35 mins from me an AK's meeting of the minds we met each others fist so now 15 mins before work I have a black eye something that looks like a bite mark on my shoulder and a new found respect for police. Mainly due for them letting me leave the back of the police car and keeping AK's hostile charocoal ass in one.
"Do I want to press charges, hell yea!"

OK SO THIS LIKE THE FIRST PAGE OR SO FROM THIS BOOK IV BEEN WRITING WAT DO YA THINK?