pt2

Its like a drug, depression, the pain you feel hurts so good that u plead for it to stop, but let it continue on eating you alive. Since I could remember its been a constant in my life in some form not really in me but in the people well now its more like person I love most my mom. (usually talk to my ex/bff bout this stuff lol weird i kno but she aint answerin the phone right now so this is my sober scream out loud right now) See she has more medical complications then i can even remember off top my head right now ugh where do I start well first theres the arthritis, she's anemic, asthma, hemorrhoids and a couple other things. An as long as I can remember she's been fighting and I've been right there with her, when I was younger i never fully grasped at her pain an mis-fortune i was to young to notice the strength in her "mommy's alright" lie. Now though I see right through it an it breaks my heart in ways i cant put in words to see a woman with so much to give with such an immense spirit crumbling losing to a war with her own body. That is dispare in my mind to be fightin a losing battle, the ability to try an go day by day and enjoy life would be beyond me and some how she does it almost annoyingly happy at times, anyone who's ever meet her knows wat i mean lol. Thats my mother champion of the people burner of anything in a pan (the reason i learned to cook lol shit we had to eat jk she can make a a mean chicken NOW!! finally) This is my part 2 to my to LUST, LIE, FAMILY, & DREAMS wasn't goin to do it til tomorrow but since i just came home from the hospital ( most ppl dont kno this but i really hate goin to em worst fear is goin in wit her an not comin out i'll stand outside an smoke a pack of cigarretes before i walk in practically) with my mom i cant sleep to much on my mind.

Well my mom is my family really other than my grandma she's the only person who watches out for me being a mother and a father figure in her own way. Alway's there for what ever, to encourage me to keep goin through thick and thin. Valiere Emory saved my life and I'll never let her forget it lol she told me to be what I wanted to be and I looked at her in one of those flimsy gowns they give you at the hospital and a half laugh came out one cause it sounded lik a joke (and cause her boob was tryin to pop out)me being what I wanna wouldnt happen I'd sell dope, before I believe that shit i write would make it. And she of course in mother-ly fashion told me to shut it! An then proceeded to tell me to dream big an chase it no matter what and that she believed in me.......... Someone actually believes in me is all i could think after that, so now forgo all my lifes bullshit i realized i dont have time to sulk an become a masochist diving in to depression. Why is simple, because I have to make it before that last ER trip so she can see she was right "My Dream is to show my family, my mama that she was Right to believe in me! Thats my family &dream .......................................................

Sincerly, DeAngelo Emory

til next signing off "deuce's"